The Greater Good
by Padfoot-Moony-Pronglet
Summary: Dumbledore's POV of his actions regarding telling Snape about Harry having to be sacrificed at end of DH.


I knew that, while I told Severus what he was to tell Harry, about him being a Horcrux, Harry would come to resent me, hate me for what I did.

He would see it as the utmost betrayal. After all, hadn't I, year after year, insisted on protecting him? It would serve me right, though. After all, I had kept information from him, ignored him, and allowed him into certain situations, which could have most definitely been avoided.

He would come to hate me. And I didn't deserve any less.

I had set him up. For his death. Of course he would hate me.

As it were, during and after Harry's fifth year, our relationship had been rocky. All my fault, once more. And yet, rather than coming clean, I let it go on, for _the greater good_. I knew what was at stake, but I knew that I would suffer as I had seen and even taken part in contributing to Harry's suffering. It would hurt, as it already did now, knowing that Harry would come to despise me for what I had done to him.

He wouldn't forgive me, and neither should he. All I had done was sentence him to the life of a murderer or to be murdered, and then set him on a journey in which he had to destroy Voldemort by sacrificing himself first.

Of course, I knew that there was a chance that Harry would survive, but that didn't mean anything. It wouldn't stop Harry's hurt, the betrayal he would feel, and I would watch and endure his hatred, his resentment, his rage at me in silence.

I felt so selfish for wishing it, and yet I couldn't help myself but to be glad that I would be dying soon due to the cursed ring that I had mistaken for a Hallow, and which had inadvertently limited my lifespan. I would not have to be here to witness Harry's reaction to what he would learn about the seventh Horcrux. At least, not in person.

I had taken so much from him. His godfather – his first and only father figure. Then his future. Now his life.

There would be no other reaction deserved towards me other than loathing.

It didn't matter than I loved him as a grandson. It didn't make up for what I was doing, the hurt I was causing him. And therefore, I didn't deserve his forgiveness.

I recalled the conversation I had dreaded for many a month, and after finding out that my life was to be cut soon, that dread only increased. I only was grateful that I didn't have to convey it to Harry directly.

_Flashback_

"Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?"

"But what must he do?" Severus questioned, attempting to hold back his impatience.

"That is between Harry and me. Now, listen closely, Severus. There will come a time – after my death – do not argue, do not interrupt! There will be a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake." I explained slowly, not wanting to get to the central part of this conversation.

"For Nagini?" Snape sounded surprised, though his face remained impassive.

"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him, under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Harry." I said, once again avoiding the point.

"Tell him what?" Severus prompted of me.

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. It took an enormous amount of effort to continue this conversation, particularly knowing that not only would it eventually result in Harry coming to loathe me for my actions, but also Severus would also be shocked, horrified, and to an extent, hurt. He would take it as a personal insult that I would set Harry, Lily's son, on the path towards death.

"Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself on to the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to, and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die."

There was a pause, in which I breathed deeply, trying to control the emotions raging within me, the ones that conflicted with the choice, the decision I was making, and thus the hurt I would end up causing Harry.

Severus, still in shock, clarified calmly, "So the boy ... the boy must die?"

To ensure that Severus knew exactly what I meant, and so could pass on only the essential information to Harry when the time came I reiterated, "And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."

Another long silence. Then Severus, with an undertone of warning that only I, who had known Severus for many years, could recognise, broke the silence, "I thought ... all these years ... that we were protecting him for her. For Lily."

I knew that Severus had done so for just that reason, for Lily, and yet I had allowed it, as it didn't matter _why_ he did it, only that it helped that he did. Severus would not take this lightly, as, since he had returned to the Light side, he had been adamant to do whatever he could to repent for his mistake with joining Voldemort, becoming a Death Eater, and most importantly, in his eyes, relaying the prophecy concerning Harry, and inadvertently Lily and James, to Voldemort. Especially, as it lead to Voldemort hunting them down, and then, eventually, killing Lily and James. Severus had always held himself personally for Lily's death.

I answered, my eyes remaining closed, as I thought it would be much easier without seeing the righteous fury directed at me for my heartless decision, even in Severus' eyes, despite the fact that he still could not stand Harry. "We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength. Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth: sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will, truly, mean the end of Voldemort."

I knew, now that I had explained this to Severus, he would be all the more appalled at my decision. Knowing this, knowing that I deserved to feel the pain of at least _someone's_ righteous anger, fury, directed at me, I opened my eyes.

"You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?" Severus questioned, with horror evident on his face and in his voice, in the usually forever upheld mask.

I winced inwardly at the bluntness of the words, knowing that it was how many would perceive my actions should they know about it. I knew, also, that there was a large chance that Harry would also see it this way.

I replied to Severus in a defensive tone, "Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?" I knew that my actions were to be abhorred, and yet, I couldn't help but take offense to the implication that I didn't care at all for Harry, that this decision _wasn't_ costing me anything. It was. Too much.

There were many times that I thoroughly wished that the wizarding world didn't place the fate of this war upon my shoulders, for me to find methods to circumvent the dark future that would come to be, should Tom not be stopped in his reign of terror. But now, I wished so much that this decision wasn't on my shoulders, that I could just let Harry live freely without worry, as I knew all too well just how much he had already suffered throughout his short life.

"Lately, only those whom I cannot save," Severus responded, truthfully. I knew this. I knew that Severus would save all those he could, and those he couldn't, he would always, at least to some extent, held himself guilty over it. He repented by saving more lives the next time, and thus in this, he was a much better man than I would ever be. He had made a mistake, but he did all he could to make up for it, had already done so much to repay it, and continued to do so, despite his debt being payed.

I, on the other hand, knew that I was doing something wrong for an individual, yet I couldn't overlook the effect that my decision would have on the fate of the wizarding world. _For the greater good._

Severus stood up, a sign of just how infuriated he really was, "You have used me."

Though I knew exactly what he was referring to, I delayed, knowing what was coming, knowing that Severus would feel betrayed, and that this was another person who would resent me for my actions concerning them. I responded, "Meaning?"

Severus's voice was cold, as he ranted, "I have spied for you, and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter – "

"But this is touching, Severus," I interrupted, seriously. Though, partly because I could not stand the words being thrown at me, particularly as they were truthful. However, it was easier to just twist the conversation into another direction. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

I knew that Severus has always despised Harry due to his parentage. Harry had represented all that Severus could have had, and didn't have, as a result of mistake. Harry was James' son. With Lily. Severus had always loved Lily, and Harry represented what Severus could have had, should he have had been able to maintain his friendship with Lily, and thus not become a Death Eater. In Severus' eyes, had he not referred to Lily as a 'mudblood', Harry could have been _Severus'_ son.

Yet, after all this time, I had very early on, as had many of the other staff, recognised that Harry resembled Lily in personality rather than James. Yes, Harry had James' features, and his knack of getting into trouble, however, Harry had Lily's righteous attitude and her morality.

And, to be certain, it was not necessarily Harry's fault that he was always in trouble, unlike James. James had played pranks, had been mischievous, light-hearted. Harry was anything but that. Harry had always been a serious child, due to his upbringing – I had always known he would suffer a little neglect, at the hands of Petunia, due to her jealousy, after all I had recognised what would happen to Lily's sibling relationship once Petunia had received that letter from me, informing her, gently, I hoped, that she would be unable to attend Hogwarts. However, not only due to some of the learning experiences he had been through – _some – _but also the losses he had suffered had somewhat hardened him.

Severus, however, absolutely lost all control over his emotions at this, "For _him? Expecto Patronum!"_

From the tip of his wand burst a silver doe: she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office and soared out of the window.

I gazed at the beautiful doe, and realised at this moment, just how strongly Severus had always cared – loved – Lily. And thus, how much he had suffered since. For his patronus to _remain_ Lily over these many years, represented that his love, his affection for Lily had never died. For, if it had, his patronus form would have been altered. If an individual experience strong emotions or a traumatic experience their patronus form could be changed.

I turned back towards Severus slowly, and knew that my eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and questioned unnecessarily, "After all this time?"

"Always."

_End of Flashback_

I knew that I had been selfish many a time in my life. When I was younger, regarding my siblings. I had neglected the care for Ariana, as I had wished to expand my potential, my brilliance, and had thus gotten involved in the 'wrong crowd'. After losing my sister, I had opened my eyes, knowing that it was my fault that my only sister had been murdered, that my brother had been tortured, because of me. And, if that were not enough, I had also aided a prospering Dark Lord to power.

I had then dedicated myself completely to looking after Hogwarts, and refused every offer to becoming Minister for Magic, knowing that power had once corrupted me, and if I held it within the palm of my hand once more, it would only corrupt me again. Thus I avoided any ministry positions.

I had also been selfish when I had kept information from Harry. I had wanted him to have a better childhood, as though without this knowledge, I could make up for the years of neglect he had suffered at his relatives. Where I placed him. And yet, it cost him greatly.

Now I could only hope that, though it would hurt Harry, my selfless act in protecting the Wizarding world would cease Voldemort's reign of power, and thus eliminate the current threat.

Yet, I knew that hurting one, while protecting several others was not the right thing.

Thus, I knew there was no reason for me to try to explain my actions to Harry separately. I had told him I cared for him, truthfully. I cared for him, much more than I should for a headmaster/student relationship, and yet I still acted, knowing that my actions would hurt Harry emotionally, and would physically kill him. In his eyes, I had set him up for betrayal. And I knew just how strong betrayal ran. I still felt it, in regards to Gellert Grindlewald. Not only that, but after holding back information had killed Sirius, I had told him I had come clean this year, and yet now that his trust in myself was gradually restrengthening, I would break it, and this time I _knew_, wholeheartedly that it would be almost impossible to regain such trust from Harry.

His resentment of me would only grow. I knew it had begun in his fifth year. My attitude towards him had severely strained our relationship, and said relationship was in pieces by the time we returned from the Ministry of Magic in June of that year. I had broken his trust and destroyed our relationship too many times to count, while he had expected me to protect him, and now, I sent him out to the wolves.

My only hope remained that my theory regarding Harry's death upon impact of the Killing Curse was correct. That he would not die, that Voldemort be the only one who discovers 'life' beyond the veil. It was the only hope I had. It was the only way Harry would have a full life, in which, he would have no worries of the sort that placed the weight of the world upon his shoulders.

I could only hope for the best.

I also knew that I had betrayed Severus. Of course I had. By ordering Severus to tell Harry of what he had to do, I had told him to betray Lily's memory. It was in Lily's memory he had protected Harry, and now he was told that he had to tell Harry to go and let himself be killed, to be sacrificed.

Severus had grown to be something like a son to me, and yet, once again, I acted without care of how my actions would affect those I loved, in precedence over the rest of the wizarding world. Of course they would resent me. I gave higher priority to others than I did them, and of course they would be hurt by that. I had used them as mere pawns, and so of course I would deserve nothing less than their anger, their hurt directed at me.

I only wished that they would, should they survive, forget me actions so that they could finally lead long, fulfilling lives, though I knew that it was doubtful. The actions that hurt most were from those you cared about, and those who cared about you in return. Those actions were the ones that laid permanent scars on a human's psyche, and were almost unforgettable, particularly if the loved ones affected knew that they were done deliberately. As in this case.

I had used them, and had done so without permission or apology. I had acted just as badly as Voldemort. _The end justifies the means._ I knew this was not true, I knew my actions were not justified, despite the fact that Voldemort should be, would be vanquished should my plan succeed, and yet the hurt, the pain, that I caused in that journey to accomplish this, I still did. I knew better, yet I only kept in mind the bigger picture, and acted with that in mind.

A few lives, or hundreds of thousands? Which was the better option? A few lives? And yet, they were all innocent lives? I knew I shouldn't play God, and yet I still did so. It wasn't my decision who lived and who died, and yet I knew that as the wizarding world placed the weight this on my shoulder, I would hold it there. Despite the fact that I had avoided power, the wizarding world still placed said power in my hands, and I knew that I had abused my position, at the very least as leader of the side of the Light in this war. I had acted wholly strategically, and yet the affect on certain individuals was much greater than it should ever have been.

All I could do was hope that everything turned out well, that my actions were not so out of the right that many more would suffer.

**AN: Please Read and Review. Constructive criticism appreciated. Thanks for reading =)**


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